


Five Times May Parker Chooses Deadpool Over the Avengers

by graceandfire



Series: Deadpool (mostly) Saves The Day [4]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awesome May Parker (Spider-Man), Awesome Wade Wilson, Gen, JUST READ THE NOTES FOR EACH CHAPTER BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL SO DIFFERENT, Mass Shooting Scene in Ch 3, Not Canon Compliant, Peter is fifteen, READ THE NOTES FOR CH 3!, Spans a few years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2020-10-05 02:35:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20481440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graceandfire/pseuds/graceandfire
Summary: Mini ficlets of five times May Parker chooses Wade Wilson over the Avengers.  Because apparently I am fairly suggestable right now, lol.**************************May studied the form grimly.  She’d been putting this off which was stupid and irresponsible.  If something happened to her right now there was no other living person in this world who had a clear blood tie to Peter.  She needed to make legal arrangements for who would take care of him if she couldn’t.





	1. Legal Forms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mini ficlets of five times May Parker chooses Wade Wilson over the Avengers. Because apparently I am fairly suggestable right now, lol.
> 
> **************************
> 
> May studied the form grimly. She’d been putting this off which was stupid and irresponsible. If something happened to her right now there was no other living person in this world who had a clear blood tie to Peter. She needed to make legal arrangements for who would take care of him if she couldn’t.

Legal Forms 

May studied the form grimly. She’d been putting this off which was stupid and irresponsible. If something happened to her right now there was no other living person in this world who had a clear blood tie to Peter. She needed to make legal arrangements for who would take care of him if she couldn’t. 

Mr. Nelson had been very nice and very practical as he’d explained that the courts would generally abide by her wishes if it was spelled out in her will but that if she was silent on the subject, even if someone came forward who was willing to take Peter they would have to jump through a lot more hoops and be vetted by Child Protective Services. If they failed the CPS study then Peter would end up in the system. In foster care.

That was not happening to Peter. Not ever.

May sighed and set the form down, picking up her glass of red wine instead and taking a healthy swallow. 

The thought of anyone but her and Ben taking care of Peter cut little pieces out of her heart but she had to be practical for her boy’s sake. There was no way in hell she was letting him end up on his own. Not after everything he’d already been through in his short life.

Shirley would take Peter. Of course her best friend would but her fellow nurse didn’t have much money or extra space and she already had her own two kids. Taking Peter would be a huge financial burden that May just couldn’t impose on the woman. And then there was Peter’s ‘extra curricular activity’ of swinging through the streets of New York at night. Shirley would in no way be prepared to handle that and Peter would be back to hiding who he was.

Tony Stark made sense. He seemed to have put his playboy days behind him and was in a committed relationship with Ms. Potts. He was certainly rich enough to take care of Peter’s financial needs and he did seem to genuinely care about Peter. The other plus was that Avengers Tower was probably one of the most secure buildings in New York and was someplace Peter wouldn’t have to hide being Spider-Man. She’d have to ask Tony if he’d be willing of course but May thought he would say yes.

Wade Wilson, on the other hand, did not make sense. As much as Wade clearly cared about Peter, the man was a mercenary. 

Who went around with swords and guns strapped to him.

Who had literal voices in his head. 

Whose default was inappropriate behavior. 

Who had saved Peter’s life.

With a huff she put the wine glass down and jabbed an accusing finger at the picture of Ben sitting in its kitschy frame on the desk. “This is your fault, babe. I’m still mad at you for leaving me alone with all this shit to deal with and you are going to owe me _ so much _ makeup sex and chocolate when we’re together again in the afterlife.”

Resolutely she picked up the pen and finished filling out the form.

  
  
****************

Foggy read through the documents Mrs. Parker had dropped off and paused, blinking.

“Wade Winston Wilson?” he muttered. “Why does that name...wait_. _Wait_, _no flipping way.” He leaned back in his chair and shouted across the office, _ “Hey, Matt!? Is Wade Winston Wilson who I think he is?? _”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, apparently I'm highly suggestable when it comes to Spider-Man and Deadpool fic right now, lol. One of the comments in Ice Bath was 'hey, it would be cool if May picked Wade over any of the Avengers.' And this ficlet popped right into my head.
> 
> I have an idea for a couple of the other mini scenes but if anyone has any good plot bunnies for this, feel free to send them my way :)
> 
> Oh, by the way, in this world I figure that while certain people and agencies like SHIELD know Wade's alter ego, to the general population it's not really known that he's Deadpool and that Weasel, as his hacker bud, scrubs his background enough so that a cursory check on Wade wouldn't pop up anything major.


	2. Trivia Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s because of Sam,” Peter had explained.
> 
> At May’s quizzical head tilt he’d expanded, “See, Sam’s all about team bonding and expressing yourself in positive ways and since Steve and Mr. Barnes will do pretty much anything Sam says—they’re kinda, uhm, whipped—we’re having team trivia night.”
> 
> “And you want your aunt to attend?” May asked dryly.
> 
> Peter, the true sweetheart that he was, looked baffled. “Well, sure. Plus,” he added, “Mr. Stark asked me to invite you.”
> 
> Huh.

Trivia Night

May relaxed back into the plush couch, one of several set up in a big U formation, providing seating in one of the common rooms of Avengers Tower. She was sandwiched between Peter dressed in a normal t-shirt and jeans and Wade in his full regular head to toe red and black costume. The rest of the couches plus parts of the floor were filled with various Avengers and friends and, okay, yes it was pretty surreal to realize hanging out with the Avengers had somehow become a part of her life.

Peter had been spending more time with the heroes ever since he’d been bitten by a mutant ant in a team up with the Avengers—which, again, _what_?—and his identity and age had been discovered which Tony had apparently been keeping to himself. The realization of Peter’s youth had resulted in some sort of collective freakout on the part of the Avengers and an increased amount of his time spent at the Tower for 'mentoring' which, Peter had cheerfully informed her, was equal parts combat training, sciency stuff and playing video games.

May warily approved.

Her ideal would of course be Peter choosing _not_ to be a masked vigilante fighting crime all over the city of New York while still a freaking teenager but that particular battle was lost. And so, to her way of thinking, the more training Peter could get and the more people he could call on for backup, the better.

Then last week, in the middle of Thai take out and the latest episode of Ninja Warrior, Peter had invited her to trivia night. This was not something she normally associated with the Avengers.

“It’s because of Sam,” Peter had explained.

At May’s quizzical head tilt he’d expanded, “See, Sam’s all about team bonding and expressing yourself in positive ways and since Steve and Mr. Barnes will do pretty much anything Sam says—they’re kinda, uhm, whipped—we’re having team trivia night.”

“And you want your aunt to attend?” May asked dryly.

Peter, the true sweetheart that he was, looked baffled. “Well, sure. Plus,” he added, “Mr. Stark asked me to invite you.”

Huh.

The Mr. Stark in question was standing in front of their odd group. “Okay, awesome heroes of liberty and freedom, tonight we’ll be going with two man…” at Darcy Lewis’ glare he quickly amended “...two _gender non-specific entity_ teams. And,” he made a showman’s gesture at May, “since we have a first timer attending one of these Sam mandated events, May gets to pick her partner first.”

May blinked at suddenly being the center of some very intense concentrated stares. 

Wow. Apparently the Avengers were competitive assholes. 

“Sooo, we’re talkin’ pop culture trivia?” She asked.

Tony smiled, self deprecating. “Yep. We’re not allowed to do military trivia anymore because of the literal blood shed that happened last time and we’re not allowed to do science trivia anymore because of the, really very minor—I don’t see why Pep got so upset—explosion so tonight it’s pop culture trivia and, since Pepper is out of town and unable to be my partner, let me just say that I am a _ font _of...”

“I pick Wade.”

Tony’s face went slack with surprise. “But…”

Wade, beaming behind his mask, reached over a gloved hand for a high five. “Oh, yeah, hot Aunt May, we are going to _ crush _the field.” 

May smirked as she returned the high five because yes...yes, they were. She was seriously good at trivia but Wade? The man had an almost encyclopedic knowledge of all things pop culture from movies to music to celebrities. He also knew completely random shit like, seriously, why bother to know a procyon lotor was a raccoon? Why? “Know thy enemy, May,” Wade had responded with utmost seriousness. “Those little fuckers are assholes, every single one.” 

Steve and Bucky turned in unison to view Wade with identical stares of threat assessment. He gave them a cheery wave.

Sam shook his head at the two men. “Guys, remember where this is just a game? That we play _ for fun_?”

Steve and Bucky both turned to shoot him ‘You're fuckin’ kidding, right?’ stares.

Sam sighed.

Natasha Romanov was aiming her cool eyed threat assessment at May. This was a little unnerving given Peter’s awed descriptions of the woman as a totally badass black ops agent who could _ crush you with her thighs_. 

Clint Barton, who was _ also _a badass black ops agent but with less thigh crushing, just kept tossing pieces of popcorn ridiculously high in the air and catching them with his mouth as they fell. Clint Barton was kind of adorable. 

Bruce Banner continued sipping tea from an oversized earth toned ceramic mug, gazing at them all serenely while Darcy Lewis leaned over to whisper urgently in his ear, the young woman shooting suspicious glances their way.

Peter, though, Peter was the only one who truly understood what May’s choice meant, his howled "_But_ _I was going to pick him_!” expressing outrage and betrayal.

“Sorry, kiddo.” She reached over to pat his leg. “You know I play to win.”

Peter slumped back into the couch, head thunking into the cushion. “We’re doomed,” he groaned. “_Doomed_.”

Darcy and Bruce made a decent showing but one hour later May determined that bragging rights against the Avengers? Was extremely fuckin’ satisfying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know about y'all but growing up my aunts were _cut throat_ at any kind of game (Scrabble, trumps, cribbage, anything) and they showed no mercy just because you were a kid. That may be why I myself have grown up to play without mercy, lol.
> 
> Thanks for the comments and suggestions! While I might not use them all they are really fun to read :)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	3. Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day at the mall turns violent.
> 
> ******
> 
> Choking back a sob—_no, no you don’t get to cry, May, you need to keep your s*** together_—she brought up her contacts and hit the fourth one in her Favorites list. 
> 
> The phone rang. Please be there, please be there, please be…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that this is a shooting scene in a mall with armed gunmen. There are no graphic descriptions of violence or death but there are references to it. If this is at all triggery for you please be careful.

May scanned the shelves looking for something, anything, to jam the door. The shelves themselves wouldn’t work, they were bolted down, and nothing else was heavy enough—shit, shit, shit—she did a frantic 360 in the supply closet, letting out a shaky breath. 

Nothing. If they were found they’d be trapped.

She listened for the sound of gunfire. Was it getting closer? Everything had been a blur since the alarms started blaring and a typical Saturday afternoon at the mall had morphed into screaming panic. She and Shirley had been swept up in the flow of people until Shirley had been knocked down by the increasingly panicking crowd and almost trampled. May had hauled the dazed woman up and headed towards an exit only to hear gunfire and screams and see strange bursts of lighted powers from one man’s fists and so she’d retreated, ending up in a Macy’s supply closet. 

One with no lock.

Shitshit_shit_...she knelt in the dark and pulled her phone out to call...who? The police had to already know. They were probably on scene. But if superpowers were involved, what if the police weren’t enough? May thought of Peter and even through her terror felt bone deep relief that he hadn’t come with them. It didn’t matter that Peter had special powers, everything inside of her rejected the idea of her boy being in danger. Although—she stiffened—what if the attack made the news? What if Peter found out and came rushing in and got hurt? He was at Ned’s today and they’d been planning to nerd it out with a Lego Lord Of The Rings castle building fest...but if he heard, if he got a news alert on his phone...saving people was what he did...

Choking back a sob—_no_, _ no you don’t get to cry, May, you need to keep your shit together_—she brought up her contacts and hit the fourth one in her Favorites list. 

The phone rang. Please be there, please be there, please be…

“Yo, hot Aunt May, what’s hangin’? So, I’m glad you called because I was thinking about this weekend and, okay, I realize you’ve had a falafel fetish lately but c’mon, what about some mexican takeout for...”

“Wade,” her whisper came out shaky. 

Wade’s voice instantly lost its playfulness. “May, what’s wrong? Is it Peter?”

“Wade, I’m at Southcorner Mall, there are men with guns. I think some of them have powers, they’re…”

“Are you somewhere secure?” May heard the sudden cold flatness of his tone. It somehow calmed her.

“I...I’m in a closet with my friend Shirley in a Macy’s on the second floor. She’s unconscious. But I...I don’t know what these guys are looking for or if they’re just...doing this for fun. I can still hear gunfire and it’s getting closer again…”

“I’m on my way. I’m fifteen minutes out from your position. I’m keeping the line open but don’t talk if you can help it. You fuckin’ stay alive until I get there, you here me?”

It was an order.

“Yeah, Wade, I hear you,” she whispered back.

May sat in the dark and focused on breathing, clutching on to the phone, feeling it steady her, the soft focused updates from Wade as he got closer, his voice completely unlike the playful, smirking tone she’d come to know.

“I’m about to breach the entrance. I’m turning off the phone now. I’ll be there soon, May. Promise.”

She held onto that as she waited in the dark.

She held onto that as she heard screams and explosions, swearing and gunfire.

She held onto that, even as she flinched at the soft tap on the closet door.

“May? May, you in there?”

And May shuddered, tears leaking from her eyes because Wade was here and they were safe. “Yes, Wade. I’m here,” she called back, scrambling up.

When the door opened, the beautiful sight of Deadpool towered over her, swords dripping red. The blood didn’t stop her from throwing her arms around him. She gave herself that moment of comfort before pulling back, dashing the tears from her eyes as she knelt to check on Shirley. “I don’t think she’s seriously hurt but we should get her to someone who can do a more thorough check.” She blinked as Wade sheathed his swords, bending to effortlessly lift her 5’7”, 180 lb. friend into one arm, the other unholstering a gun. 

Wade stared down at her. “May, I need you to do me a favor.”

“Okay.” 

“I want you to put a hand on my arm here,” he proffered it, “and close your eyes. I’ll lead you out and let you know when it’s okay to open them.”

May frowned at him. “Wade, what the…”

“Just humour me, okay?” Wade’s voice was stiff. “I...there are a lot of fuckin’ bodies out there I unalived and I don’t...I don’t want you to see what I…”

And May realized what Wade was afraid of. 

“Okay, Wade, I’ll keep my eyes closed,” she promised and watched his shoulders relax. 

She placed a hand on Wade’s arm, the same one holding Shirley like she was weightless and let Wade lead her from the floor, listening to his voice return to its normal good cheer, “Oh, not there, hot Aunt May, there’s some nasty stuff there,” as he led her around a circuitous path, down escalators and finally to a point where he said, “M’kay, you can open your eyes,” and she did, blinking against the lights. 

“I should scram, the cops never seem happy when I help, they’re rude like that.” He gestured to Shirley, still cradled in one arm. “I’ll drop her off outside.” He pointed down the hallway. “Head towards those doors. The mall’s clear of scumbags. Yell very clearly as you approach so they know you’re a civilian and don’t exit until they tell you to.”

May looked up at him. “Wade, thank you. I don’t…”

Wade shook his head. “No, thank you.” 

May frowned. “Me? For what?”

Wade was silent for a long moment and then finally said, “I care about you Parkers way the fuck too much. I would not have been okay if you were hurt.”

He turned and started walking away and May heard him whisper to himself. “Shut up! I know that was a fuckin’ understatement, asshole.”

May figured it was White he was arguing with. He normally didn’t sound that defensive when he was talking to Yellow.

She watched him for another comforting second and then turned and headed for the exit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it feels like so long since I posted but it was only a few weeks. I’ve just gotten so used to posting every week. Sorry, life got in the way of writing but I am continuing this, my Ninja fic and another sequel in this series. Also, a plot what plot bunny that refuses to go away.
> 
> Thank you so much for everyone who has kudo’d and commented! It is very much appreciated :)
> 
> P.S. Each chapter of this is supposed to be a tiny little ficlet but each chapter is getting longer than the last. We’ll see what the trend is for the last couple chapters lol


	4. SILTF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay, ladies!” Connie held her champagne glass aloft and gave the giggle of the truly inebriated. “Next game is ‘Super heroes I’d Like to F...!’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies being drunk, inappropriate, and making raunchy and sexual comments about superheroes, including a minor (not that they know that).
> 
> Yep, that's about it.
> 
> So, my writing-fu has been very weak this past month! I've been trying to force myself to write just a little bit at a time, even if I'm not feeling it to keep things moving. I finally felt like this is post-worthy although it's so completely different from the other chapters, IDEK. Well, I hope you enjoy!

“Okay, ladies!” Connie held her champagne glass aloft and gave the giggle of the truly inebriated. “Next game is ‘Super heroes I’d Like to Fuck!’”

May exchanged a glance with Shirley. Yeah, they were all on their way to being shit faced but c’mon, really? 

Annie Marini apparently shared no such reservations as she staggered up, proffering her glass to clink against Connie’s. “Easy question, for sure. I’d totally do Thor.” She blinked her eyelash extensions at the room. “C’mon, the man’s a freakin’ god and he has that hair and those massive..._ everything_.”

There was a round of raucous cheers from the ladies present.

May thought about Thor. 

No question, he was super buff, super handsome, a royal, and from her interactions with him, had been raised to be a gentleman to the ladies. On the other hand, he reminded May of a golden retriever, all friendly good cheer and...welll, she had always liked her men a little darker. Ben, bless his soul, had been the most decent man she’d ever known but he’d also had this glint in his eyes that just...yeah. 

So. Not Thor.

“Okay, okay, good choice, I’d totally do him,” Connie turned to scan their group of ladies. “Who’s next? How about you, Lee?”

Lee Gutierrez made a hmm-ing noise as she pondered her wine glass. “Can I choose a threesome?”

“Is that including your husband?” Shirley asked.

Lee smirked. “I’m pretty sure Stanley’s heart would give out if we tried that. I’ll save the hubby’s life by keeping him out of this little ménage à trois.”

Connie giggled again. “Intriguing. Okay, give.”

“Black Widow and Hawkeye.”

“Ooohh, reason?”

Lee rolled her eyes. “Well, duh, obviously they’re both gorgeous. Plus they’re superspies so they’ve got that whole danger vibe going _ and _they’re together in real life so they’re sure to let’s say...synch up well together.”

May frowned. Wait, what did Lee mean they were together in real life. Natasha and Clint were partners but she’d never gotten any kind of vibe that the two were _ together _ together. Had she missed that? She pondered. Nah, they were besties for sure but they weren’t _ together _together. No way.

And, yes, they were both ridiculously attractive but Peter had assured her that Natasha could kill them all with a jelly bean and a Q-tip which had been weirdly...specific. And Clint well, she could never take someone seriously as a potential sexual partner after witnessing him being fished out of a dumpster. Twice.

Soooo...no for the threesome.

“Okay, nexxxttt,” Connie scanned the room with narrowed eyes. “All right, you Shirl. Who ya gonna pick?”

Shirley rolled her eyes. “Really? We are grown women. We’re seriously doing this?”

“Yup,” Connie replied.

Shirley huffed out a laugh. “Fine. If I’m picking any kind of superhero…” she paused dramatically. “I sayyyy...Spiderman.”

May choked on her glass of wine even as the comments started flying. 

“He seems pretty young…”

“Which means stamina!”

“He’s definitely flexible…”

“Do you think he has, like, six eyes under his mask?”

“C’mon, really, he seems young…”

“Like Agnes’ latest boy toy is?”

“Shut _ up_, Sean's twenty-two!”

“Well, I wonder if Spidey's di…”

“I choose Deadpool!” May shouted.

Silence fell as everyone turned to stare.

Connie cocked her head, frowning. “Isn’t he that mercenary guy who's all deformed under the costume? SuperheroGossip says that he’s got scars and stuff everywhere.”

May shrugged. “So what. He’s built, I like big guys, and he’s got that aura of danger.” Well, less ‘_aura'_ of danger and more ‘_actual, impale you with a pair of swords_' danger.

“Oh, hey, he's been hanging out with Spiderman lately,” Jana Lutz added, pausing in her champagne refill. “It’s been on the news a few times. And the Daily Bugle did that article about how they’re both menaces to society,” the hand holding the champagne bottle waved in the air, “which is _ crap _ because Spidey’s a standup guy--he saved my cousin last year--and if Deadpool’s hanging with him then he’s probably okay too.”

Connie shrugged. “Don't know. Don't care. The important question is _fuckability_.” She toasted May. “Interesting choice. And I will give you he’s built so, if the scars aren’t a turnoff, then go for it, babe.”

She turned, seeking her next victim. “How about you then, Jana? You interested in a little ménage à trois with Spidey and Deadpool?”

Jana laughed and shook her head. “Not for me. I’d take Captain America. He could totally give me the old red, white and blue.”

As the room started debating the merits of fucking a national icon--and poor Steve would be blushing crimson if he could hear the conversation going on about him right now--May thought about Wade. She’d blurted out his name just to get the ladies to shut up about Peter but...if she was going to sleep with a superhero, well, hmm. Wade wasn't perfect. He had serious issues--not to mention anyone who tried to date him would have to compete with his swords for affection. But he was also seriously attractive. He had an amazing body and his scars were just...part of who he was. He was also funny as hell, made ridiculously good pancakes, and would go an hour out of his way without being asked to get takeout from her favorite Thai place.

He was also always there for Peter. And for her.

So, Wade Wilson wasn’t perfect, but if she was going to pick a superhero…

Hell yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, just wanted to make clear there are no plans for this series to turn into a May/Wade romance. This was just May speculating because the question came up and that if she was picking someone...well, she'd pick Wade :)


	5. Empty Nest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter officially moves out and May is feeling the quiet.

May sat on the couch in the empty apartment. It was so quiet. It _ felt _so freaking still and deserted which was just silly. Peter had been spending less and less time here after he’d started classes at NYU last year while continuing to spend more time at the Tower, taking advantage of Tony’s labs and mentorship. He’d even gotten a couple of small patents under his name for some of his work which Tony had insisted on since Peter technically wasn’t a Stark Industries employee no matter how hard Tony tried to get him to make it official. 

The funds from the patents plus the partial scholarships plus Wade’s flat out paying Peter’s remaining tuition directly to the school with his blatantly manipulative “don’t be fuckin’ idiots, Parkers, unless, wait...did you not mean it when you said I was family?” had given Peter enough of a cushion that he could juggle school and being Spiderman without having to work on top of that and he’d started his sophomore year near the top of his class. It was a close tie on who was prouder, Wade or Tony. 

But today...today was official. Her boy had moved out, into a tiny shoebox of an apartment closer to school and the Tower. It was logical. It was natural.

Yeah, she was gonna cry. May grabbed a tissue from the nearest box and sniffled. 

It wasn’t like she wasn’t going to see him anymore. He and Wade were coming over tomorrow night for Sunday supper even. And she could finally turn Peter’s room into the guest bedroom slash office that she’d been thinking about. 

This was a good thing.

This was a _ great _thing.

_ Sniffle. _

Shit. 

Well, if she was gonna be maudlin and sentimental she should do it up right. Pizza, ice cream, bad TV, pyjamas.

That sounded about right. She shuffled over to the freezer and stared into its depths. Dammit, she’d finished off the Rocky Road.

Ugh.

She did not feel like going out.

Who did she know who would bring her some damn ice cream?

Her phone rang and she looked down at the screen. Swiped it.

“Tony? What’s up?”

“So, I’ve been thinking that it’s still not too late. I’m sure between us we could talk Peter into moving into the Tower. Especially if you move in too. There’s a whole floor and…”

“No, Tony.”

“But…”

“No, Tony.”

“_Tony, are you bugging May about Peter again?” _

“...no?”

“_Give me the phone, Tony.” _

May waited through a long pause and the sounds of hissed voices until another voice came on.

“May?”

“Hi, Pepper.”

“May, I’m so sorry about Tony. He’s just so in love with the idea of Peter joining himself and Bruce in scientific nerdom at the Tower.”

_ “We would be the three Muskenerds!” _

Jesus, how had Tony Stark ever gotten a single date in his life.

“So, how are you? It must be a lot to process to have Peter move out on his own.”

May sighed. “Yeah, he certainly couldn’t live with me forever. It’s a good thing but it’s just...going to be an adjustment.”

“Well, please know that you’re always welcome at the Tower at any time. And Darcy’s been making very insistent plans for a ladies’ night out. I hope you can make it.”

“Thanks, that’d be nice.”

“All right, well, I hope you have a nice ev…”

_ “Pep, wait! Let me talk to May again! No, tell her…” _

“...ening. Good night, May.”

_ “Pep, it’s my phone! C’monnn…” _

“Night, Pepper.”

May hung up and looked at her phone. 

Pulled up her favorites list.

Hit the fourth contact.

It rang.

And rang.

Oh. Right, Wade was probably out doing something illegal. Well…

“Hey, hot Aunt May! Sorry, I was having a disagreement with a drug dealer but that’s totally resolved now. Totally. So what’s up?”

“Have you had dinner yet?”

“Does a half pound of coke flung into your face count?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Then no.”

“I was thinking pizza and Rocky Road. I’ll order the pizza if you pick up the ice cream?”

“Aww, are you missing the baby boo bear already?”

“Shut up. You in?”

“Be there as soon as I get the rest of the drugs out of my suit!”

May hung up and sat back down on the couch. 

She felt a little better. 

Now that Rocky Road was on the way.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, wow, that took awhile. My writing went from every day frantic to glacially paced but it's still eking along! I'm so glad for the suggestion to write this and I've loved exploring May and Wade's relationship and bonding a little more. Hope you enjoy!


End file.
